Tommie Collins

Tommie Collins
True (c)

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Be My Number 2

This blog is sponsored by this song:

Infidelity is complicated. There are now stages and categories of extramarital affairs and as you see on the news every week, things are starting to get messy. Even though it’s been happening since the first relationship was created, “creeping” has now been brought from the shadows to the limelight. I refuse to contribute to anymore about the golf player who recently was “caught up,” but his situation made me think, “Why do these ladies settle for being number 2?” The answer is complicated. Some of them don’t see themselves as number two, some of them aren’t even number 2, and some of them are just f*cking groupies. Let me break this down for you real quick:

A true “Number 2” is different from these random chickens who are out here tricking for Louboutins. A number 2 is someone who the married party actually has deep rooted feelings for. They could be their “soulmate,” or “the one who got away.” I know you’re thinking, “Well if they are soulmates, why didn’t they marry THEM?” You never know the reason for that; maybe they never got along, maybe other circumstances prevented them from tying the knot. A number 2 gets privileges, trips, gifts, and a long term contract. If something ever goes wrong in the marriage, the number two is next up, and ready to roll. Alicia Keys is a number two. Had poor Swizz Beatz calling Mashonda with the Harlem Nights quote: “Yeah, Mashonda, it's Swizzie. Yeah lookit, I ain't never coming home no more. Take it easy.”

Not to be confused with the “Number 2,” is the “jumpoff.” Lots of ladies who creep with married men think they are ‘Number 2’s” or wish to be, but they aren’t. See, jumpoffs don’t get the same treatment as number 2’s. They might get shoe/suit money here, rent money there, but they are only used for one thing. Some are used for sex, some are used as a trophy, and some are only called when the married party is in town for the weekend. Jumpoffs are the ones who will make the front page of the news when they realize that they will never become a number 2. Their frustration will cause them to suicide bomb their way into the media, telling on both themselves AND the married person they crept with. Number 2’s have their own agenda, so this wouldn’t even be an option for them. Those jumpoffs however, are independent contractors, and have nothing to lose.

In a perfect world, folks wouldn’t be out here creeping in the first place, so none of this would even be an issue. But in a world of greed, deception, booty injections and Viagra, we have to put up with who is stepping out on who, with what, when, and for how long? And please don’t think this is just about women who run the streets with married men, because trust and believe there are just as many women who have their number 2’s and their jumpoffs as well! Their husbands might treat them well, but they are either swagless, broke, or their penis is teensy weensy. So to all of you “other women” out there, as you get ready to meet your married boo for a night of undercover fun, look in the mirror and ask yourself, which one are you?

Tommie Collins


Big Poppa Pump

Whatcha Doin 4 NYE?? COme party with me @ Union Station!!

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Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Art|Wine| & Acid Jazz| 12*5*09

Wassup everybody! I hope you all had a great thanksgiving, filled with good food and fun with your families. Now that the turkey is digested and you can't stand the sight of anymore leftovers, it's time to get down to BUSINESS! I would like to formally invite you all to"Magnum Opus," a digital art showcase this Saturday at Ozio Restaurant & Lounge from 6pm to 9pm. The featured artist is Jaye Luke, a DC native who creates masterpieces and then renders them with a twisted genius. You might remember some of his work from my past birthday celebrations; he designed and created the big birthday cards for me.Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic
Dinner will be served during the showcase, and free wine will be poured for those who order a 3 course's the menu: Image and video hosting by TinyPic
For my lushes out there, there is also a happy hour from 6-9pm, so you can enjoy a cocktail or two while you are enjoying the artwork. This event is completely free, so there's no need to try to sneak in the party like the couple who crashed the White House State Dinner; no guestlist needed just walk on in and enjoy yourself. After the Showcase, DJ Blaze will proceed to rock the house and we will party all night long. You are welcome to stay, but only if you can handle being a part of the SEXIEST Saturday night party in the CITY. I'll see you all on Saturday, hit me with any questions, reservations or inquiries. Oh, and here's a free Acid Jazz Mixtape that I put together....ENJOY!!

Tommie Collins

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Friday, November 20, 2009

Canned Food Drive this Saturday @ Ozio!!

What are you thankful for?

I am thankful for my family and friends because in some form or
fashion, they have made me who I am today.

I am thankful that I was blessed with one of the most awesome-est
noses on the east coast.

I'm so serious about my nose, it's damn near perfect.

I feel that we all should sit down and give some thought to what we
are grateful to have, and who we are grateful to be acquainted with.
I also feel that we should give back in some way during this time of
the year. Not everyone is as fortunate as us, and to be able to help
someone else out is a blessing in itself. We are having a canned food
drive at Ozio this Saturday: just one canned good could help out more
than you can imagine. All donations will be going to The Lifestyles
of Maryland organization ( who will be giving
away Thanksgiving baskets starting on Nov. 23rd to the less fortunate.
There has never been a better time to give back to the community and
take shots at the same time. Shout out to Lenita & Kym: Happy
Birthday Ladies. I'll see you at Ozio on Saturday, where I'll
probably be doing Prince dances by 12 am, like this:
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Thank you all for your support, and I'll see you on Saturday.
p.s. I hope the Cowboys LOSE.

Tommie Moon
A Pillar of the Community
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Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Halloween, Free Chicken, & Good Music!!

First of all, I kindly ask all of you to please pray for my grandmother. She is a die hard Redskins fan, and is about to slip into a heavy football depression. *snicker*

Wassup everybody, I'd like to thank everyone who came out this weekend for the HU festivities. Ozio was a good look; great food , strong drinks, and people who know how to party without acting like fools. This weekend, we are giving you all a Halloween treat. Join us @ Ozio this Sat for a "True Blood" themed Costume Party!! get there early, because it's guaranteed to be a busy night! I'm dressing up as either:
A Gay Fish
Khloe Kardashian
Falcon the Balloon Boy
Thug Jesus
a Rum & Coke
Dan Snyder

Check out the flyer for details, or just hit me up, you know I'll take care of ya!
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Gas prices are creeping up on the low...the news won't say anything about it, but I see it slowly climbing! We still need to pinch our pennies, so every chance I get, I'm gonna pass along some savings. Here is a free chicken dinner meal coupon from Boston Market, that's good all week long. I know it works, because I used it yesterday, so don't worry about it being a fake, they wont turn you down like KFC did.
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Speaking of chicken, Ryan Leslie has a new album coming out and it is OFF THE CHAIN. If you'd like to listen to a few snippets of the album, download this link and enjoy.
Please buy the album and support the artist!! Ok enough free stuff, let me get back to work. I'll see some of ya'll this weekend at Ozio, and the others I'll probably see in line at Boston Market.

Tommie Zorn

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Ten Reasons You Should Come to Tommie Collins' Birthday Party!

It’s that time of year again folks…my birthday is coming up and I am celebrating BIG!! This Saturday, myself along with a Virgo Host Committee that makes the Dream Team look like last years Washington Wizards, are throwing a Huge Virgo Birthday Bash at Ozio Restaurant & Lounge in Downtown Washington DC. Shots will be taken, tables will be danced on, and relationships will be ruined once the pictures of the night make it to facebook. For those who have never been to a TC birthday party, come prepared with an open mind, bail money, an extra pair of clothes, and a vial of holy water. Special Shout out to Toya "Elle" P., Franko aka "The Animal," ListentoLeon, Bri Cooley, King Kan, and my sister Wildfox for coming up with the top ten list. Oh, and the The Virgo Host list > World leaders & Politicians.

Top Ten Reasons You Should come to TC's B-Day Party:

10) They will be taping his new reality show "Shots of Love" for BET

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9) Chuck Norris entertains himself by looking up "True TC Facts" on the internet.

8) You should come to T.C. Birthday party, so you can be tweet twittering and facebooking from the club, like everybody else that’s gonna be there..dont be left out.

7) Because he licks your face if he really likes you.

6) It is gonna be like the 2009 version of the Sugar Shack painting from Good Times with TC in the middle with his hand in the air.
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5) Because TC will be using his powers to "glamour" people the entire night like Eric on True Blood; u will wake up with no memory of how u got home!

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4) Because the first time we met in “Dream” he told me I was raised to be scandalous because I'm light skinned :-/

3) TC has taken more shots than Kobe Bryant in the 4th quarter. (I witnessed this man invent "Smirnoff Rice")
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2) God don't like ugly, and neither does TC. So expect a good looking crowd.

1) Because it’s Labor Day weekend, and you need to come party with the Virgos!!
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Monday, August 24, 2009

“Tommie Collins' Intimate Playlist”

“Tommie Collins' Intimate Playlist”

They say music soothes the savage beast. I must agree with whoever coined that phrase, because there have been plenty of times where some smooth jazz has mellowed me out from a hyper and destructive mood. No matter how old you are, what race or nationality you are, and even what gender you may be; a nice slow jam can calm even the most hyper person down. This blog is my gift to you...a collection of my favorite slow jams from my teenage years, to now. I consider myself to be a musical sultan, so included in the playlist are valuable comments about selected song. Thank me later, and I am in no way responsible for the children that may be conceived, swallowed or vacuumed after this playlist is downloaded or streamed.

Raheem Devaughn- Prototype
Andre 3000 is one of my favorite artists, but Raheem made this song his bitch.

Atlantic Starr- Send for Me
Back in '98 I used to stop the music during my man Tim's wild house parties, put this song on, and start singing it at the top of my lungs. After 4 or 5 times, people stopped cursing at me, and started singing along with me. R.I.P. Drinking str8 gin directly out of the bottle.

Michael Jackson- Liberian Girl
Fellas: If you're ever home alone..late at night...put this song on, and turn the TV to Telemundo but set the volume on mute....thank me later.

R Kelly- Seems like You're Ready
Be careful, this is one of those songs that will make you leave it in. Don't get Nas-ed.

Mary J. Blige-A Dream

R.I.P. to my Friend Kiana...this song was playing when I left her funeral, and I always think about her when I hear this joint. Make sure you hug your loved ones while you have the chance.

Aaron Hall- All The Places I Will Kiss You
This is some freaky, toe lickin, back scratchin type of music right chea. Make you feel the need to go to Church to repent the next morning, even if you’re not Catholic.

Jamariquai- Everyday
This song is great for vacation sex. Makes you just wanna hump on the beach and get sand betwixt your buttcheeks.

R Kelly- Slow Wind
Get a sexy Jamaican girl to wind for you if you really want to enjoy this song to the fullest. Lawdamercy.

Prince- Do Me Baby
You know how they say that birth control works 99.99 percent of the time? Whenever that 00.01 percent occurs, a Prince song is playing in the background. Seriously.

Bilal- All For Love

This song is for hopeless romantics...who like to get high and do it in public places. I won't judge you, boo.

Keith Washington f/ Chante Moore- I Love You
When I was younger, I was R. Kellied by an older woman who put me onto Keith Washington. Nowadays, I'm the one doing the R. Kelly-ing. *Sipping Deer Park*

Mary J Blige ft K-Ci- If Loving You is all That I have To Do
You can feel their chemistry in this song. For all women who have been jabbed by their man and love it...this song goes out to your dumb asses.

Prince- Adore
This is my number 2 all time slow jam. Words can't express how this song makes me feel, I'd just lick you on the side of the face then blow on it and hope you understand what I mean.

Michael Jackson- The Lady In My Life
My number 1 slow jam, even had it sang at my wedding. I have included the MJ version AND the Lissen Band version, just because I keep it so damn regional.

D'Angelo- How does it Feel
No homo.

Wes Felton- Politics of Blutopia
This song is deep. DC's own Wes Felton wrote and sang this song about strange relationships that we all can relate to so much too.

Christina Agruleria- Loving Me for Me
Perfect song to play late night when you're taking your weezie back to her dorm room.

Chris Brown- Poppin
Don't judge me, please.

R Kelly- 12 Play
Young, seriously. The dude counted to 12, and made it sound GOOD. Gotta respect him musically. Brb, gotta pee.

Dru Hill- Beauty is Her Name
Sure, most of the group didn't even like women for real, but they KILLED this song. Sisqo looked like Tweety Bird.

Lauryn Hill ft D'Angelo- Nothing Even Matters
I hope that all of you reading this meet that special someone who makes you feel like nothing even matters when you're with them.

Robin Thicke- Lost Without You
The perfect "please Don't Break up With Me" song. Play this when you're in the doghouse.

Teena Marie- Portugeese Love
You know near the end of this joint, when the beat gets real fast and bossa nova-ish...use that part to your advantage, if you know what I mean.

Chico Debarge- Is the Love Still Good
This entire album contributed to me being a skeezer in college. Beautiful song, great concept, excellent results.

Please Feel Free to post YOUR favorite slow jams, Let's keep this thing going!

Download Link: