Tommie Collins

Tommie Collins
True (c)

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

TC's True (c) Hollywood Stories Vol.1-"El Debarge"

Back in 2002, Platinum Nightclub was the place to BE on Sunday nights. It was 21 & up, and it was the official chill spot for people who worked in the DC Club scene. Bartenders, security, managers and even club owners could all be found in the V.I.P. room regularly on a Sunday night. My man Tim and I were regulars up there on Sundays, but there was one night that will forever stand out. It was a cold evening, my crew and I were anxious to get out of the house and into a hot party. We pre-gamed extra hard, because we were determined to party like some pure rock stars once we got in the club. We arrived early (there wasn’t even a line outside) and walked right on in. There were only about 10 people in the club, you could hear the echo from the music because no one was there. I looked on the dance floor, and saw a petite redbone dancing all by herself like her life depended on it. As I looked a little closer, I found out that it wasn’t a lady, but a man; a grown man with 20 gold chains on, an over sized party shirt with all but 3 buttons loose, stretch pants, and some high heeled boots. Before I could even laugh, I heard the DJ yell, “Shout out to my man El Debarge in the house!!” Image and video hosting by TinyPic I held my ribs and let out a 5 minute laugh. I could NOT get myself together, I laughed so hard that I couldn’t breathe. I went and talked to security, and he informed me that the dancing man was indeed El Debarge; he was up there with a bodyguard. I laughed some more until tears rolled down my face, and then proceeded to go cop a drink and mingle with the people who were starting to come into the club. After about a half hour, I stepped off to the bathroom for a second. I opened the door, and walked in on El Debarge snorting a line of coke off of the sink!! He turned around startled, and after an awkward 3 seconds of silence asked me, “You want a bump homie?” I politely declined, turned around and left out of the bathroom; I was cool with holding it until he got out of there. I told my friends what happened, but they didn’t believe me :-/ 45 minutes after that, me and the crew decided to go upstairs because the V.I.P. was about to open up. I walked in the room, dapped up Jason & my man Crown Royal, and suddenly heard a yell. I turned around to see a bartender yelling for security to come and GET EL DEBARGE FROM DANCING ON TOP OF HER BAR! The whole visual was hilarious: El Debarge doing Figure Skater Spins on top of the bar with those 20 gold chains flinging around with those Rick James “F*ck Yo Couch” boots on.Image and video hosting by TinyPic Security was too busy laughing with us to immediately go over and get him down. They politely told his Bodyguard that any further disruptions would result in him having to leave the club. They rolled their eyes at security and stepped off, and Mr. Debarge kept right on dancing. This dude had been dancing the ENTIRE time that we were there, and didn’t look like he was about to stop anytime soon. Next thing you know the VIP room was getting crowded and the party was getting started. By this time I had taken lots of shots, and I was feeling NOICE. I was in the middle of getting my two step on, and I saw a disturbance in the crowd to my left. I walked closer to make sure that it wasn’t anyone that I had come with, and guess who it was: El Debarge. He had been gliding and sliding across the dance floor grabbing girls asses. Security had him up in the air by his arms with his feet dangling like a little kid. His bodyguard was trying to plead his case, but the security team had enough, he was getting put out. Laughing hysterically, my friends and I followed the situation downstairs and then outside. There was a long line outside of the club by this time, and El Debarge saw that he had an audience. He cussed out the entire security team, the front door staff, their mothers, and their future children. By now my stomach was hurting from laughing so hard, I could NOT believe that all of this was happening right in front of me! A Police Officer was in his squad car during all of his, and got out of the car to make sure that everything was alright. He tapped El Debarge on the shoulder and asked, “Hey man, are you ok?” El Debarge spun around, yelled “Don’t touch me,” and SLAPPED THE OFFICER IN THE FACE. The crowd went silent. The cop seemed to be in shock that he just got bitch slapped by a frail prettyboy with heels on. After he got himself together, he grabbed his club and POPPED El Debarge on the top of the head. El Debarge whimpered, and then collapsed on the sidewalk. The front door staff and my crew let out a 10 minute roar of gut wrenching laughter, and the man of the hour was carried away like a newborn baby by his bodyguard. I’d like to thank Seagram’s Extra Dry Gin, Belvedere vodka, and EL Debarge for making that a night that I will never forget. R.I.P. Platinum Nightclub.

16 comments:

  1. He was feeling the beat in the middle of the night FO SHO!

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  2. OMG TC I do believe that you are the funniest man I know lls!

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  3. El DeBarge wild joe..i dont know who it was that told me about a episode where El Debarge and Mike Tyson was together somewhere..but anyway..you are a fool

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  4. BULLSHIT!!!! YOU ARE A PISS COLORED PALE BLACK ASS LIAR!!!!

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  5. Drugs can cause much harm. El is sober now, and the best is still to come!

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  6. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  7. LMAO!!

    I LOVE EL, BUT THAT STORY JUST MADE MY NIGHT. I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING!!!!

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  9. You are a damn lie!
    First, of all NONE of the Debarges can dance.
    Second, you know damn well EVERYBODY and their auntie would have pics of such fuckery.
    Third, El's drug of preference by 2002 was crack, not coke. lol.
    I love El to death, but your story had me crying laughing. HI-LARIOUS! True or not.

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  10. LOL! This reads like the Charlie
    Murphy Chronicles. I can almost see the dude doing the robot in the background. LMAO!

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  11. I have NEVER laughed so hard in my f---ing LIFE!OMG, TC, you and your El Debarge story are gonna get me fired for acting like a fool in this office. Oh, ooooh, if only I could get off this floor, oooh! Ohhh! My side hurts!

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  12. OMG!!!!!!! LMBO!!!!!!!! LOOOOOOOLLLLLL w/screams!!!!!!!!! OMG, I think I woke up my neighbors!!! That was the most entertaining thing I've read almost EVER! Your writing is soooo descriptive, puts you right in the scene as if you were there. Man oh man, I wish I had been there! I haven't laughed this hard in Idk how long. You're a greeeeeeeat writer. Whether this is true or not, my laughter and tears sure are!!!!

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  13. not sure this is true but that ish was funny for sure lool

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