Tommie Collins

Tommie Collins
True (c)

Monday, November 26, 2012

Stalker Songs

Stalker songs
Which Stalker are You?

Zhane- “Crush”
This stalker has a big heart, and it’s full of love for YOU.  Unfortunately, they have never spoken to you, and you don’t know that they exist.  They have written you letters, tweets, facebook messages and emails, and erased them all before sending them.  When you meet someone for the first time and they are very quiet, but you can see them blushing…they just might be overwhelmed because you are their “Crush.”

LL Cool J Ft Boyz II Men-“Hey Lover”
This type of stalker is dangerous, because they claim you as your own, even before uttering a single word to you.  That guy you always see in the grocery store, at the gas station, or at Target. It’s not a coincidence: this bastard is FOLLOWING your ass.  Women carry pepper spray on their keychain just for folks like this.  In the song they say, “This is more than a crush…” hells yes it is.  It’s a potential restraining order.

Genuine-“So Anxious”
Hornball.  Nympho.  Two words to describe Genuine’s overall mood in this song.  “It’s 10:10..WHERE YOU BEEN??”  If you have ever received this message via text message or voicemail then you have a stalker that really wants to hump you.  If they put more than 2 ????”s behind the question, then they want it RAW.

Brandy-“Who’s She To You”
This is the insecure woman’s theme song.  If your woman says this to you, then best believe your phone will be gone through, your tweets will be reviewed, your facebook friends list will be stalked, and your instagram will be thoroughly examined.   This song is playing in the background when your girlfriend hacks your email and finds out that you’re still smashing your baby moms.

The Police- “Every Breath You Take”
This stalker is an old fashioned creep.  The peeping toms, the ass watchers, the perverts of all kinds know this song by heart.  Remember the serial butt slasher?  He had this song on his “butt cut” iPod mix.  When you feel someone watching you from out the side of your eye, just know that you have a quality stalker on your hands, and act accordingly.  Ya’ll might wanna invest in some protection or self-defense classes.


  1. You forgot the most EPIC stalker song of all time:
    Until you Come Back to Me... EVERYTHING about this song is WRONG. It starts of with the person not calling anymore. But the stalker is still trying to get the person to hear about how they feel. NEWSFLASH! They don't care! Relationship is over, order of protection is signed, relocation has taken place! Yet, the stalker is steady knockin on the door & tapping on the window pane.

    The tappin on the window pane reminds me of that episode of Unsung with Mikki Howard when they said her ex was knockin on her apartment window like 5-8 stories up & there was no fire escape!

  2. Teedra Moses - Be Your Girl and Alicia Keys -You Don't Know My Name


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